6 Ways to Communicate Better as an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

When a loved one has Alzheimer’s or dementia, everyday communication can be a challenge—but it doesn’t have to be an exercise in stress and frustration. A few simple tips can make daily interactions easier on both you and your loved one.

“How you communicate depends on the severity of their disease at the time,” explains Maggie Carpenter, MD, a palliative care doctor who sees patients in various stages of Alzheimer’s or dementia. “Using humor is important,” she notes, as humor can help lighten the mood—and alleviate stress—for you both.

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The following tips will come in handy at various stages, so pick and choose the ones that will work for you now. Let compassion be your guide, and be forgiving of them—and of yourself. It’s not easy, but it is possible to communicate better through the difficulties of Alzheimer’s or dementia.

1. Greet them with the basics. Introduce yourself and provide some context before a conversation or activity. “Hi Mom, it’s your son, [name]. We’re going grocery shopping today.” Make eye contact and minimize distractions (such as television or background noise) so you can maximize their attention.
   
   If you live in the same house and your loved one tends to wake up early, you can leave a note where you know they’ll find it in the morning. “Good morning, Dan. Today is Tuesday, September 20, 2022. Later, we’ll have breakfast and go for a walk.”
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2. Keep it simple. Instead of asking open-ended questions, give choices: “Would you like orange juice or water?” Speak slowly and clearly, and give them plenty of time to respond so they can think about what they want to say.
   
   Have simple responses prepared for when your loved one asks repetitive questions such as, “Who are you?” or “Why are we here?” Be consistent and repeat the same clear, simple response without varying the wording, which can add to their confusion.
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3. Validate their emotions. Your loved one might experience difficulty expressing their needs or understanding what you’re communicating. This can be frightening for them, but a few calm, reassuring words can go a long way. “I understand that you’re frustrated and want to go home. Let’s sit down and I’ll explain why we’re here right now.”
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4. Go with the flow. Constantly reorienting your loved one to reality and imposing logic on them can be exhausting for you, and may cause agitation for them. Try to be accepting rather than dismissive. If they ask, “How do you like Nashville?” when you’re in Los Angeles, resist an impatient “We’re not in Nashville!” and simply say, “It’s lovely here.”
   
   If going with the flow isn’t working or doesn’t feel possible in the moment, try changing the subject. “Let’s walk to the mailbox together.”
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5. Take the stress out of medical appointments. Your loved one may not be able to communicate effectively with their doctors. As a caretaker accompanying them to their appointments, you can make it easier on both of you by gathering important information ahead of time—such as labs, medication lists, and notes about recent symptoms.
   
   PicnicHealth can help simplify the process by keeping all of your loved one’s medical information in one place. When you sign up, you gain access to an online account for storing medical histories or sharing them directly with doctors, if you choose.
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6. Converse through the senses. If verbal communication is limited with your loved one in later-stage Alzheimer’s or dementia, get creative about how you connect with them. Play music from their younger days. Try aromatherapy. Look at photo albums. Sometimes just sitting together and sharing your presence is the most powerful and loving communication of all.

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